I Gonna Wear Hearing Aids...

This is what my youngest declared happily to his new audiologist last week. To which she actually said, "You just might buddy."

His daddy, his beloved Papa and older brother wear them as does his half sister, who he's met a few times. She's much older and has her own life so she doesn't get to visit too often. So, aside from myself he is the only one without aids. So, I can see why he'd say it.

There is nothing wrong with that. Absolutely nothing!

He'd just finished his hearing eval though and the news was mixed to say the least. After being told for several years that his hearing was fine, I was just told that it was not. I wasn't upset at this though. I mean I was, obviously I was, how do people get to decide that a bottom of the "normal" range is NORMAL?! And then tell you, your child's hearing is fine.

I find out that his tympanograms show middle ear dysfunction of some kind, especially in one ear. That his last test and current test show a very mild hearing loss until you get to the higher frequencies, where he hears just fine. It sits directly on the border of where the "normal" hearing and "mild loss" line is. So, I guess that it's up for interpretation, but still in a family with a deaf history, don't you think that this was worth mentioning?!

I've been after him for months to pay attention, turn down the TV, turning my back when I talk to him, even walking away when I'm speaking, etc. Now, how awful do I feel?! The audiologist is concerned enough at where it sits to have us come back in another 4 weeks to recheck even.

So, am I upset? HECK YES! Am I upset that he might be aided? No.

Yes, that's right, no I am not upset at this. Is it wrong that part of me is hopeful that he gets his aids? I'm sure as a hearing parent some would say so. I mean we want our children to hear our voices, to hear theirs, right? Being really the only hearing person in this Deaf house though, I realize that it is just as important to HoH/Deaf people to want to have the same camaraderie. The only hearing boy in the house wants to be like his Papa, his daddy and his brother, what's wrong with that? Nothing.

My only concern is that all indications are that there is something in the middle ear not moving and that it might require more tests and possible surgery to fix. Though his loss is on both ears, indications are that one has this middle ear problem but, we won't know for another month!

It's always the waiting that kills me though. I hate waiting. I've never been good at it, you could ask anyone that knows me and while these boys have taught me some bit of patience, where it concerns them, I feel like that kid in the candy store who is told not to touch anything...I'm completely hopeless! lol

A little girl named Mary

It occurs to me that I haven't written anything in a long time.

Life gets in the way sometimes. All the expected things and all the completely unexpected things as well.

Today I need to get some things off of my chest. So many people I know are pregnant, which is great and exciting and a truly wonderful thing. Yet, I feel a little sad by it and frustrated. For many reasons really, not just one thing.

Not because I've been trying to have more kiddos. I physically can't...well, I could but, risk dying of hemorrhaging on the table rise exponentially each kiddo I have. Yes, that means I literally almost died having my first son. And while they were ready for the second time, I was told the scar tissue, etc. was extensive and the risk of bleeding out again would be greater. So, despite the fact that I always imagined 4+ kiddos, I opted to have my tubes tied. There will be no more trying for any new addition for me. While this fills me with a mix of emotions, I've slowly come to terms with it over the years.

So, why am I sad and frustrated?

It's the things that no one talks about when you're pregnant. The things, as a pregnant mother we don't want to talk about or think about. We want the baby born on term, with ten fingers and toes. Babies who can eat formula or breast milk, who doesn't need any surgeries to survive and will never know what a NICU is. We want that and we all have a right to that, to hope for  that.

I know I was that way and I know that one little girl, Mary, was her name, changed my whole life and I was never more grateful that she did too.

I was somewhere between 6 - 8 months pregnant with my oldest son when I met her. I hadn't yet been diagnosed with gestational diabetes, I was rather large for my gestation but, still didn't yet know that there was anything wrong. I was blissfully ignorant and my baby was going to be the prom queen or the football star...

I went to my husband's relative's funeral and there she was. I saw Mary instantly across the parlor. Long dark hair, cut in a straight line. She had bangs too and glasses and smiled at everyone as they passed her. She stuck close to her mother, was probably the most well behaved child I'd even seen really. I did my best to avoid her though just the same. Which was hard because I couldn't stop glancing at her from across the way and when she spied my gigantic belly, her eyes got wide and gleamed with immediate fascination. I made excuses to leave the group Mary and her mother were headed towards several times. Up until I finally could avoid them no longer without it being obvious.

She stood there, looking at my belly, not really saying anything for a long time. Just smiling at me, as if I was a Disney Princess! I tried my best not to look at her though.Until she finally asked to touch my tummy even before she did so, which to be  honest was more polite than most adults really. She asked me if it was a boy or a girl, again very politely. At one point as everyone sat on the chaise lounges or chairs, I sat on the floor as it was much easier to get up and down for me...weird I know but, trust me, it was easier!

Mary, who was still glowing at me with her beautiful smile, asked if she could sit next to me. Which again, more polite than most children. She asked me several times if she could touch my tummy and each time I let her, she began to talk to me here and there. Always polite and always with a cute smile and gleaming delight in her eyes.

Every fear I'd secretly harbored, every worry I'd ever had about the well being of my child, I'd come face to face with in those moments. When I left there, I'd made up my mind, no matter what, it'd all be ok. Mary's innocent heart, her eternal curiosity, her bright eyes and beautiful smile, opened my heart to everything that day. I tear up even now, just thinking of her and that day. She forever changed my world that day.

So weeks later when I found out that something was physically wrong with my son, I thought of Mary and knew it would be ok. Months later when they told me that my son would most likely be cognitively delayed or physically handicapped in some way, I thought of Mary and KNEW it would be ok.

Years later, when I became pregnant again, all the "What ifs" raced through my mind but, I thought of Mary and knew that we'd be alright. And when my oldest son began to feel comfortable socializing, a "friend" of mine at the time expressed her concern that the children of choice for him were the ones with Down Syndrome and only those children. I immediately thought of Mary and told this woman, "we could only be so lucky".

More on Tourette Syndrome

If you couldn't guess by last weeks post, I am going to talk about Tourette Syndrome today. If you think you know all about it and it's not in your life, then you don't know a thing! For example, the stereotypical misconception of TS is that you have coprolalia (yelling curse words) is actually rare in people with TS and that the percentage of people with coprolalia is something like LESS than 10%?! Did you also know that even though when TV shows or news shows mention TS, we typically think of adults but, that a majority of people with TS are children?!

Tourette Syndrome affects something between 1 and 10 students per 1000. Which sounds like pretty good odds your child or family won't have it but, since my son has been diagnosed, I actually see a lot of people that I can honestly say would fit the diagnostic criteria for having TS and they don't know they have it! TS can be so mild that a varying amount of adults have had it a majority of their life and not know it nor have their 'tics' get fully noticed by family or the public or they get misdiagnosed even. In fact, most females with TS will often get diagnosed with OCD!

TS affects boys 3x more often than girls and is prevalent in the Caucasian population versus any other. There are some genetic components as well in developing TS. It has been known to run in families but, a lot of the time, it appears for no reason. There are certain familial traits that often seem to be present in families though that many a researcher finds interesting when TS finally manifests. For example, OCD is hugely prevalent in families of a child with TS. Though again, it's not always that way but, a large enough number of things like this seem to happen and it has caught researchers' attention. Another main focus is the dopamine and serotonin levels and receptors in the brain. The theories go that either the receptors are hypersensitive or that the person with TS over or under produces those chemicals in the brain. They have even found that mutations involving the SLITRK1 gene have been identified in a small number of people with Tourette syndrome. SLITRK is responsible for providing instructions for making a protein that is active in the brain. They believe that the SLITRK1 protein might plays a role in the development of nerve cells, including the growth of specialized extensions (axons and dendrites) that allow each nerve cell to communicate with nearby cells. It is unclear how mutations in the SLITRK1 gene can lead to this disorder.

So, what do we take from this? TS is a neurobiological disorder that usually presents with tics. Tics being involuntary, rapid, repetitive movements or vocal outburts. Tics will wax and wane but, be present for at least one year. Tics often change and go away or change and reappear. For example, they may have a blinking tic that stays with them and a sniffing tic that changes to a humming, etc. Some tics reappear intermittently and others may only appear once. There is no rhyme or reason for it. Tics vary from person to person in severity and duration. Some kids may have days, weeks or months with no outright noticeable tics, while others will never have a tic free day. Some kiddos may have severe enough TS on an upswing that they cannot walk, talk, or eat normal! For some other kiddos that severity of tics may be an everyday thing!

Children with TS typically have a normal range of IQs, meaning just like the normal nuero-typical children, they have a normal intelligence and some have high IQs. They are in every way as normal as your son, your daughter or you neighbor's children. They may have other issues though, called comorbid disorders, like ADHD, OCD, Sensory Processing Disorder, ODD, Asperger's, etc. It is these accompanying disorders that often times gives the child some trouble, be it with school, attention, behavior, etc. To make matters worse, children and adults with TS often times have episodes we as parents typically call rages. These are never pleasant for anyone involved. They often times on an upswing or if their TS is severe, are exhausted by their constant body motion and it's painful. As a parent, there is nothing more painful than to watch on in helplessness.

Meet my son and help raise awareness for Tourette Syndrome!

Probably THE most personal one for me to share yet. Mainly because of the HUGE misconceptions associated with this disorder and the obstacles that my son will have to overcome. It is the one thing that still feels very raw on a bad day, as many a mother of a child with TS will agree. Today begins a month long awareness campaign for Tourette Syndrome Awareness in the U.S. So today, we begin to tackle Tourette Syndrome.

I can't really talk about Tourette Syndrome without introducing you to one of the loves of my life, my son DW. So, instead of giving you the stone cold facts and statistics, I will show you the personal side to TS in my life today. Please take a moment and get to know my son.

Here's his little brother's video he helped make dedicated to his big brother: 

                                     

Before you judge, before you joke, make sure you know what you're talking about first. These are just two of the faces affected by TS. There are millions more faces just like this affected by it. Take some time this month to get to know more about TS and destroy the myths and stigma that surrounds it.

Thanks for joining me again for another Not Your Typical Child Tuesday!

ADHD

Today I'm going to tackle what to some, is a controversial topic. Today, I'm taking on ADHD head on. Now, I know some of us don't understand why this is controversial and truth be told, it shouldn't be at all but, there are those out there who don't understand it and therefor chalk it up to bad parenting, or kids just being kids, or kids being bad kids even. So, in an attempt to understand this disorder, I'm going to delve into the world of ADHD.

What is ADHD?  ADHD is a neurobiological disorder characterized by developmentally inappropriate impulsivity, inattention and often time hyperactivty. While everyone is spacey at one time or another or has a hard time sitting still, those with ADHD or ADD can't seem to focus on a daily and consistent basis. They not only can't seem to focus on a task or two or ten, they can't seem to sit still for very long. This problem is on a daily basis and effects their daily lives. Most often, children with ADHD also have something called Executive Function Disorder. This is why they have problems, analyzing, planning, organizing, scheduling or not only completing tasks but unable to meet deadlines in life. That said, often children with EFD will often get misdiagnosed with ADD. Which is simply the inattentive type of ADHD without hyperactivity. Though, children with ADHD or ADD may well have both! Most noticeably those with EFD when put on stimulant meds, will not have symptom improvement.

How do you know when a child has ADHD?
Well first, thing you need to know is the difference in the types of ADHD. One being true ADHD and the other being ADD.

ADD kiddos, tend to not pay close attention to things, have difficulty sustaining attention to most anything and often make careless mistakes. They don't seem to listen, struggle with following directions, have struggles organizing, most often will not do anything that requires a sustained mental effort, forget or get distracted easily. For example, my boys' half brother has a classic case of ADD. He will do fine in class but, when asked what his homework is, he could not remember. On his way out of the school for the day, when most kiddos are throwing coats on and running out the door, the teacher would report that he would be zoned out, coat half on, stopped and staring at nothing or the wall. His teacher would report that in class he'd seem to get it but, later at home when it was time for homework, he could not manage to figure out how the teacher, just hours earlier could get A+B=C. This behavior was not sporadic but, a consistent DAILY thing that impacted and still does every area of his life. Most teachers were frustrated by him because for all intents and purposes he was a good kid but, seemingly easily distracted. One year, a teacher wanted to put him in a cubicle in the hallway so that he would be less distracted! Because of things like this, he was gradually soloed out as "that bad kid" and began to loose friends. At 13 yrs old when he comes to visit the boys, if he is asked to do something requiring more than two step directions, he still cannot do it. If asked to clean a room, he can't do it. Instead, he'll stand there staring at the mess. You literally have to tell him to pick up one item at a time, ie. just pick up the Legos, just pick up the transformers, etc. He struggles daily with this and it has cost him friends, respect of his peers and teachers and with one more year of middle school, he's on the verge of flunking out!! All because the school system refused to help or acknowledge his issue, nor do some other people in his life but, that is for a different discussion! ; )

ADHD kiddos are the hyperactive and impulsive ones! They're the ones that will either keep you young or kill you! :P Just teasing! Seriously though, ADHD kiddos cannot seem to sit still...EVER! If they're not getting up and down or running, etc. they can't seem to not fidget. They can't seem to commit to quiet activities, sometimes talk EXCESSIVELY! They often run or climb a lot, never able to connect that if you climb on a bookcase and they've been told to get down because it will fall and they'll get hurt, that the bookcase will fall and they will get hurt! Even after they've fallen from the bookcase and broke an arm, you may catch them climbing to the top shelf in their closet! They seem to run on some kind of motor or caffeine line that you know nothing about. Taking turns and waiting to talk are just not in their manners bank, no matter how many ways you've tried to teach them these basic skills. If the thought of anything crossed their mind, their brain is unable to restrain the action and impulsively they respond, react or do without being able to think it through.

What are the causes of ADHD? 
We don't really know what causes ADHD. It's more prevalent in boys than girls, which as most know, means that there is a genetic component. Which is backed up by families like my boys. In my family, two of my cousins on my mom's side have ADHD, several relatives on my father's side also had ADHD, my little sis has ADHD and growing up, I had ADD - hence the occasional remarks about having the attention span of a gnat! :P The boys older, half brother has ADD as well. So, if you were using a family like my sons', it's quite obvious there has to be a genetic component. There are even some studies that show, like a lot of other things, prematurity can also have something to do with whether a child might have ADHD. To this day though, there is no confirmed real thing that they can nail down as to why some have it and some don't. There are a lot of theories about where it comes from and even contributing risk factors but, no concrete evidence. 

They can say though, that most likely the culprits of ADHD are neurotransmitters. Most likely the chemical neurotransmitter, Dopamine. Dopamine is mostly the chemical in the body responsible for keeping the attention centers of the brain stimulated. So, without a proper level of Dopamine, a person's attention span is compromised. There are also studies on the actual structure of the brain of boys with ADHD. They tend to have more symmetrical brains in shape. With 3 structures in their brains that are smaller than a neurotypical boy of the same ages. They were the prefrontal cortex (believed to be command central of the brain), the caudate nucleus and the globus pallidus, which both help translate those commands from the prefrontal cortex into an action or actions. There is even evidence that shows not only are the structure slightly different but, that the brain uses those areas differently than a neurotypical child. By doing brain scans, they've noticed that ADHD boys have abnormal increases in the frontal lobe and the striatal areas below it. These parts help with voluntary actions! So, if you follow that evidence through, ADHD boys, despite the appearance, are working harder to control their impulses than a neurotypical child is!

How do you treat ADHD? There are a plethora of answers for this. Like many other treatments for anything, what works for one, may not work for another. Depending upon your insurance issues, belief systems and money, the answers vary.
Diets are a natural thing to try and in all honesty work for a lot of people! Things like the Feingold Diet, worked well for my sister and her boys. There is a lot of research out there for this side of symptom/disorder treatment, just Google! If you're going to try this though, may I recommend: The Kid-Friendly ADHD and Autism Cookbook: The Ultimate Guide to Gluten-Free, Casein-Free Diet by Pamela Compart and Dana Laake.

I want to start off saying that don't let the Autism word scare you in any way! Once you start researching, you'll find that Autism and other things like ADHD have a lot in common. Secondly, though I whole heartedly,  recommend this book, I was not asked to review nor have any affiliation with anyone that has anything to do with the writing or printing of the book. So, trust me when I tell you that it is a great, eye opening book for anyone researching food and ANY of your child's neurobiological issues. Once you've given it a healthy once over, you'll never look at food the same way, ever.

If you're not into the diet and food related options for treatments, you can always try some kind of occupational therapy. Yes, I said OT! You'd be surprised to know that occupational therapists can employ a whole host of methods at their fingertips to help ADHD kiddos from "normal" OT practices, to Interactive Metranome, and cranial sacral therapy. Here is where I get to vouch for something that I was not paid to talk about nor asked to. Cranial Sacral sounds all hippy like but, it works and it works well for one of my boys. On the days he sees his OT and she does this for him, he actually takes a nap, holds still, listens, nor is he up and down on the emotional roller coaster. This doesn't seem to effect my other boy though, so remember what works for one kiddo may not work for another. 

Another thing you could consider would be some kind of therapy. The earlier you get in to see someone, the earlier you child can learn behavior that is positive and helpful for themselves. They can do psychotherapy, behavioral therapy - including CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), social skills training, parent retraining, etc. In my experience though not every counselor, psychologist or therapist is a good fit for a family. Some cling to older mentalities, some to a very hands off approach to dealing with various issues. I once had a therapist tell me to physically hold my son in timeout when he'd earned his way there....that is THE biggest no no for my oldest guy. He never did like to be held much and even though I told the guy that holding him, results in the "fight of flight" reaction, he still recommended that I try this. Needless to say, I never went back to him after that! Don't be afraid to try different professionals until you find one that fits! You have to have a great team, that communicates well to make this work. 

Lastly, and as a last resort, there is always medication. I will not say with or without medication is best because, as I've said a hundred times, not every child is the same. Some are further down the rabbit hole than others and some are more defiant than others. It's a hit a miss kind of thing. I will say that medication should be broached as a last resort though. It's too easy to take the smooth road, then to take the bull by the horns because going it without and even sometimes with meds, is NOT easy. If you are going to do meds though, here's my two cents:

• I recommend asking and researching which ones are the safest first. With the new drugs out there being pushed to docs they'll most likely throw you on the newest one or two that they get but, sadly enough, Riddalin is still the safest starting point in a lot of cases - though not always. 
• Keep an eye on side effects too. One medication worked well for a lot of kiddos, mine was no exception but, like his cousin, that medication caused stomach pain in both boys. 
• If you're in it for the quick fix, think again. While some medications seem to produce a noticeable result for some families within a day or two, sometimes it takes up to 2 whole weeks for the medications to build up enough to be noticeable. 
• Keep an eye on mood swings. One very popular medication right now seems to cause this issue in a lot of kiddos, my nephews and my son again are no exception. One nephew was removed from it, the other can tolerate it in small doses.
• If a doc recommends medication, you have every right to say, "let me sleep on it" or flat out no! Don't let them run you over. Remember, this is your child, you are the parent and the pediatrician works FOR you!

The advice I give you here comes from experiences and as a mother who does do medications for one child and is able to opt for more natural treatments for the other. Honestly, after all these years and experiences with medications, if I could go for fully natural remedies for my oldest son, I would in a heartbeat. You'll understand in a later Tuesday post why I had to take that route. Just keep in mind during your research or dealings with various docs, that you have to do what is right for your family. If you opt for natural treatments, don't let your family or friends make you feel like you made the wrong choice. If you opted for meds, don't let anyone else make you feel as if you took the easy way out. For most of us, it was not an easy choice by any means. I cried for days when I found no other way out for my son. 

That being said, for those that don't know, medication is not the easy way out. If you do take more than one medication, it is tricky to find the right balance for your child. Not to mention too that as they age so does their body chemistry and so the perfect balance no longer works or they build up a tolerance to the medication....it is a merry-go-round for sure. AND the mother that chose to medicate, also still chooses a way to help treat her child, be it OT, therapy and/or food! So, here again, NOT the easy way out! My oldest does take medications, goes to OT, has therapy and has a diet that I found worked wonders for him. With all this in place, he went from 7 medications down to 4! Which is still a lot of medications and again, I'll explain why in another post but, suffice to say, he does not have just ADHD. The point though that all of these ways to treat ADHD have been employed and in conjunction with one another have worked well for him. Again, while my youngest son with just diet, and so far occupational therapy has done well! So, no matter what avenue you choose or if you're a split family like ours, remember to keep your options open, keep an open mind to other families who've chosen to do things differently and don't be afraid to challenge your doc if need be. They are not the be all end all on the subject of YOUR CHILD! 

If you're just reading this to learn, I say again, quit giving that kid and his mom the stink eye in the grocery store! Sometimes a fit is just a fit and other times, it's what you don't see under the layers that is real problem, not bad parenting or bad children. So, stink eyes off and learn to be a bit more open minded! :) 

Thanks for joining me for another Not Your Typical Child Tuesday! Now back to your regularly scheduled program....

Our Life With SPD

Today we're going to address something called near to my heart, Sensory Processing Disorder. This is usually the main "symptom" of autism or Asperger's that most people see right off the bat. This does not encompass the whole definition of autism, nor does it mean that you have to have autism to have it.

Sensory Processing Disorder, from the purpose of this post, will be referred to as SPD. SPD like autism, is a spectrum disorder, and no two kiddos that have it are alike. I happen to have two kiddos with it and neither of them have this disorder in any similar function! SPD is a disorder where the  nervous system doesn't function or communicate properly with the senses of the body. I could go into depth on this but, this is the gist of it. You basically cannot process what your senses are telling you properly. Now, if you think about this, that can manifest in many ways! As I write this article, please know that there are so many different ways and combinations that it can show up in a person that I could not possibly include them all here. I will most likely include the ones that are personal to me and my boys.


When one thinks of senses, they generally think sight, sound, hearing, touch and taste. In actuality there are EIGHT senses! Yes, I know how to count! :D I know we all get the idea of the first five senses, so here's some brief info on the 3 you probably don't know about.

Vestibular is your sense of balance basically. It tells you if you're lying down, spinning, jumping, etc.
Interoception, this is how your body knows it's hungry, if it has to go to the bathroom or even if you're sick.
Proprioception, is the feeling in your joints and muscles that tells you when you're getting squeezed, catching a ball, etc.


Everyone has some sensory issue(s) but, some of us out there, have it to such a degree it impacts daily life! For example, my son had a HUGE aversion to the color white. If you were wearing it, he would start shrieking and carrying on. Socks may be an issue for a child with SPD. I know when I was a child, my mother and I seriously, physically fought over putting socks on my feet. To this day, I avoid wearing them at all costs. Why would one carry on like that over socks? I can't speak for other people and my boys don't seem to have this issue but, for me, the seam feels like a bunch of razor blades on my toes. To this day, the fastest way to get me really upset, really fast, is when my socks are not on right! :P For other kiddos and adults, it could be sounds. Some are set off by repetition of sounds, for some it's the pitch of the sound, for others, it's just sound in general. My HARD OF HEARING child would often times (And still does), cover his ears, yelling that we were all too loud! Let me tell you, nothing is harder to wrap your brain around than this! For others it's not being able to wear short leaves or only wearing short sleaves. Same goes for shorts and jeans as well. Don't get me started on oral issues...you think a neuro-typical child is a picky eater? Wait until you meet a child with SPD! Most with oral issues that I've met cannot eat mashed potatoes! No matter how watered down you make them! The choke and gag and you cannot figure out why! Some oral issues include licking or mouthing strange objects or continued mouthing, chewing or licking of objects, that is past the baby/toddler stage. For example, that piece of metal that normally separates hard wood floors from carpeting, chair legs, another person's clothes, Legos (not fun when they accidentally swallow them and they were to some cool set that you can't buy anymore!) and even their fingers or clothes are not safe! My nephew is the clothes chewer, he chews holes in his sleeves and collars. Drove my little sis nuts until I told her that he probably couldn't help it. Maybe it's none of these and simple things, like smells. Specifically normal smells, like the smell of fresh peeled oranges that sets a child off! Yes, one of my kiddos had this problem too! My oldest nephew though, swears his food smells and tastes different when the windows are open and it's chilly out. We don't notice this but, my son says he can smell the difference between hold and cold things too! So, who am I to argue! :) This covered sight, touch, sound, taste, and smell. On to the next three senses....

Proprioception manifests in ways like, your child can't stop jumping. Jumping on the floor, the couch, the bed, etc. He/She is a crasher. Meaning they're continually crashing HARD into you, walls, furniture, anyone else in close proximity! It's been joyously painful having two crashers! lol If your child had a vestibular dysfunction, they'd have a hard time staying upright a lot of time either because their balance would seem compromised or they don't seem to know where their body is in relation to anyone or anything else. If your child had interoception issues, they'd seem to forget to be hungry or eat period. Or maybe potting training was excruciating long because they didn't seem to know when they needed to go! (This is a fun one, especially with all the well meaning potty training advice friends, family and strangers seem to love to dole out!)

There really is no one size fits all diagnosis for SPD. In fact, a lot of kids may get diagnosed with ADHD because of their SPD! Especially if they have SPD and APD (auditory processing disorder). SPD can get overlooked a lot when the child has other neurological issues as well. For example, I know a lot of people who have TS (Tourette Syndrome) also have SPD but, because of either severity of tics or other neurological issues, the sensory issues will get overlooked.

If any of this sounds like a child that you know, here's a great checklist on line to investigate and see if they are just normal or if maybe you should contact an Occupational Therapist. If it's you or a teen you're curious about where they stand, here is the checklist for you. Again, for a firm diagnosis, you'll need to visit an OT to be evaluated for sure but, those lists will give you an idea of where you stand. With an OT and the benefit of proper therapy, they are doing the best they can to help, teach and rewire how our children's brains function - without drugs. Over time they can go from having to eat pizza with a fork to being able to eat with their fingers! Or from screaming at bath times or when they get to wet, to calmly being able to tell you that they need to change their clothes or being able to take baths without incident! It may take some time, it's not an instant fix but, the results can reduce you to tears! :)

Resources:
If you're newly diagnosed person or family, a great place for info though is SPD Foundation, they are awesome every October for SPD Awareness month at helping you start a campaign to do locally! If you're looking for others out there like yourself, the SPD Blogger Network is filled with all sorts of great bloggers who share their experiences parenting kiddos with SPD. There is a great community on FB called SPD Connect, and another page on there run by my dearest friend Ida, called Sensory Street. She will share every resource, and avenue she finds that you can try to help your child. There is Sensory Planet with an accompanying FB page. There are also many, many groups on FB just for SPD in general. Including Autistic Like. I've never seen the full movie yet but, he's one of the few fathers whose been at the forefront of the fight for their children. I'm behind Eric 110%!

For books, I have to recommend my friend Lindsey Biel's book, Raising A Sensory Smart Child first. Lindsey is an OT, so she knows her stuff and did I mention that like Ida, she's a really sweet woman; truly an awesome resource to have! She also has a site and FB page too! Another great set of books comes from Carol Kranowitz. One is called, The Out Of Sync Child and the other one is The Out of Sync Child Has Fun. The first book is on recognizing and understanding a bit about your child and SPD and the second is all about some fun things you can do at home to help your child adapt, learn and evolve through play. Another couple of good books is This is Gabriel: Making Sense of School by a wonderful lady, Hartley Steiner. Our fearless leader behind the SPD Blogger Network. She also put together a book by many of us SPD mothers, called Sensational Journeys. Filled with stories from lots of us mothers about having two kiddos with SPD, having premies, etc. All heart warming and told by real moms about their experiences, myself included! I would be remiss if I did not include Ms. Lucy Jane Miller's book, Sensational Kids: Hope for Children with Sensory Processing Disorder.

There are a lot of resources out there now. A ton more than a decade ago. There is no reason to feel alone, no matter who doesn't understand in your neighborhood, your child's school, your friends, families, etc. You are not alone and your child is as unique and beautiful as a snowflake, never forget it! And if you're that lady or guy in the grocery store giving the evil eye to the mom whose child is screaming his head off, think twice about what you're doing. They may not be able to help it!

Our lives with OCD

We all hear people say it, "I'm so OCD," or "I've got OCD". They all say in jest, heck even I do myself and a bit of a personal thing, I actually do have OCD!! So, do my sons, both of them! When you think of OCD, your typical response is to think of organizational people. The ones with their cans all facing forward in their cupboards, their towels all lined up evenly on the rack, the drawers all organized with clothes folded perfectly or their closets color coded. Yes, to some degree this is OCD and to others it's just functional. For me, with my cans in my cupboard, and the items in my fridge all label forward, it is OCD. Though I have managed to understand that nothing bad will happen if they are not facing forward, I can still feel anxiety creep in if I leave them askew!

So, what is OCD? 
OCD is a neurobiological anxiety disorder (often genetic in nature) that significantly affects 1 in 40 adults and at least 1 in 100 school aged children.

Obsessions are defined as uncontrollable, persistent worries, doubts or fears that significantly impact normal life. They create unbearable anxiety and often times the person feels compelled to perform rituals or activities  (aka compulsions) to relieve the anxiety.

Compulsions may be either physical or mental rituals that are done over and over and over again in an attempt to control or relieve the anxiety the obsession causes. This is always temporary and just ends up reinforcing the original obsession.

For children with OCD though, like ASD (autism), SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) or even TS (Tourette Syndrome), it is a spectrum disorder. Most of us have some OCD-ish issues but, you can rationalize that your 'urge' is irrational and move on. Those with OCD honestly feel like something bad is going to happen.

Personal experiences: 
OCD is often recognized in adults and some older kiddos but, for a small few, the signs are evident at an early age. For example, my oldest son, took to hand washing at a whopping 2yrs old. His little brother has just started it at 3 (in case you wonder, he didn't learn it from big bro because, big brother hasn't done it since before little one was born). DW became obsessed with having to put things back EXACTLY in the same spot that they were taken from. Which sounds great but, heaven help you if you were on the way out the door to go somewhere and there is more than one thing out of place. Don't get me started on taking him grocery shopping!! If someone (a stranger) put something back wrong, the whole store knew it! Then he had to "unwind". Which meant that if he crossed in front of you entering the room, he had to cross back on his way out. Or if he walked around the right side of the van to get in, he had to go back the exact same way to go back inside. He started to need things in his bed just so, to get to sleep. I could go on but, I will spare you the whole long history of how his OCD progressed. Keep in mind this is all happening at 2yrs old.

I'm aware that there are naysayers who will say that this is "learned" behavior. I'm here to tell you that they are dead wrong. Ask any geneticist, they will tell you hands down, it is genetic and the child cannot pick what their OCD focuses on anymore than you can change the color of your eyes. I've heard, "well, you have OCD, so they must've learned it from you"....DW's issues, AND JD's obsessions are NOT mine at all! For example, DW became a hoarder! No joke when I say this, he would panic if you threw out old food, old containers, papers, etc. I even have a friend whose son kept and hid toilet paper....toilet paper used for #1!!! JD, he's obsessed with different things than either DW or I have even considered. JD can't have anyone's things away from them. For example, if you come over and set your purse and coat on my table, he will bring them to you. If you sit them next to you and then follow me into the kitchen for snack, he will bring your coat and purse to you again and again and again. He will not stop! It has worn out many a guest here. He is also obsessed with having flat surfaces, completely bare. Which sounds dandy but, imagine walking into a room everyday and finding the bookcase shelves completely bare. Or every child's bed unmade daily. He also tends to panic if you take a different way to go to and/or from a store or relative's house. Keep in mind that he is only 3yrs old and though DW and I both have OCD, our "issues" are not like his. The ones that JD expresses that are or were similar to DW's are things that DW has long since worked through. So, he'd never seen DW do them.

Common Obsessions/Compulsions: 
Contamination fears
Fear of acting on bad impulses, i.e. harming another, insulting another, being the cause of harm to another, etc.
Perfectionism
Washing/Cleaning
Mental compulsions (or as we call them in our house, mental hiccups)
Skin Picking
Trichotillomanina (hair pulling)
Hoarding
Checking
Repeating

Other Conditions related to or in conjuction with OCD:
OCD can come alone or in cohorts with another condition such as Tourette Syndrome, Asperger's, ADHD/ADD, Anxiety Disorders, depression, etc.

What to do as parent of a child with or suspected of having OCD? My first bit of advice as an adult with OCD, do not wait to get help! Tell your child's pediatrician that you suspect OCD. Take them into a mental health staff member and have them evaluated. If they poo poo you, remember: You're the parent, they work for you! Doctors are great resources but, they are not the be all end all to all medical and psychological information! Remember that the earlier they get help, the easier it will be to overcome it. So, if they stonewall you, get a second opinion. I say this to everything from Asperger's, to SPD! Do what is right and fight, kick and scream for your child. I didn't have to do this to get them help with their OCD, it was that obvious but, I have met parents at their wits ends because their child's doctor kept telling them to wait it out or having a kid who wants things put away is a good thing. Just listen to your gut, you know your child first and foremost! If you're in need of more information or support, a great site that offers you a lot of resources, information and a super supportive FB page is, International OCD Foundation.

The point of this rather long post today? Again, instead of glaring at that woman whose hair is sticking out in odd places, whose eyes look a little panicked, who may look on the verge of tears and is managing the best she can, with the screaming child in tow, try offering her a kind word instead! That may be the thing that helps her get on with her day with a renewed spirit.
Instead of glaring at the child for something that they can't quite grasp isn't "normal", try to look at them through a new lens and not with contempt.