My youngest, who is on the spectrum, is finally in speech therapy again, after being on a wait list for 6 months. I was told, it will be intensive and require a lot of "drilling" at home. Sounds fun, doesn't it? My oldest, who has Tourette Syndrome, Intermittent Explosive Behavior Disorder, ADHD, ODD, OCD, etc. is now being tested for ASD as well tomorrow.
My youngest who despite his diagnosis, was always pretty easy to handle, has become increasingly agitated where his communication gap is concerned. My oldest, has melted down repeatedly every day to epic proportions. And while I know the word "epic" is used so passively now, I assure you this is the only world that does what happened with him justice. In one day, I carried him out of 3 different grocery stores as onlookers stared, gave disapproving looks, and pulled their children away from - even though they were easily several hundred feet away. I suppose to some degree it was my fault, after the 1st meltdown I should've packed it in, but I had to get that stuff done that day.
My youngest, was put on medication to help his attention, which is suppose to help him with his communication in the long run. And while I tried for two years to NOT put him on meds, after going to the bathroom for seriously only 60 seconds, I came out to find him dang near on top of my fridge. Mind you, my fridge stands alone in my kitchen, no counters are anyway near it. So, I agreed to give him a small dose of medication. It's not a lot and he's still all over the place, but at least now I can go to the bathroom without worrying he's going to set the house on fire or get himself killed!
My oldest, I fought for 3 years to keep off of a certain medication. After 6 months of violent meltdowns, and most of them in public, I finally gave in and tried him on it. He's been on it all of 2 weeks now and while he now has minor meltdowns 2 - 3 times a week, they're manageable. Granted I had to chase him down at my mother's apartment when he bolted out the door because I was going to wash his dirty face, but that was mild. Though, I'm sure her neighbors loved watching me get my son in the grass, wrap my legs around his, bear hug him with one hand and wash his face with the other! I suppose though, at a retirement village, that would be exciting entertainment!
I started taking a chance as well. I began to not only take part and end up heading my state's Dyspraxia Foundation chapter, I decided to start taking part in the local Autism Society. I was worried, because my oldest son is verbal, he's ahead for his age actually. My youngest son has great expressive language, for the most part and he struggles with the receptive language, but he's verbal as well. So, I thought that because neither boy was so far down on the spectrum, that we'd not be welcomed or fit in anywhere.
My youngest, was put on medication to help his attention, which is suppose to help him with his communication in the long run. And while I tried for two years to NOT put him on meds, after going to the bathroom for seriously only 60 seconds, I came out to find him dang near on top of my fridge. Mind you, my fridge stands alone in my kitchen, no counters are anyway near it. So, I agreed to give him a small dose of medication. It's not a lot and he's still all over the place, but at least now I can go to the bathroom without worrying he's going to set the house on fire or get himself killed!
My oldest, I fought for 3 years to keep off of a certain medication. After 6 months of violent meltdowns, and most of them in public, I finally gave in and tried him on it. He's been on it all of 2 weeks now and while he now has minor meltdowns 2 - 3 times a week, they're manageable. Granted I had to chase him down at my mother's apartment when he bolted out the door because I was going to wash his dirty face, but that was mild. Though, I'm sure her neighbors loved watching me get my son in the grass, wrap my legs around his, bear hug him with one hand and wash his face with the other! I suppose though, at a retirement village, that would be exciting entertainment!
I started taking a chance as well. I began to not only take part and end up heading my state's Dyspraxia Foundation chapter, I decided to start taking part in the local Autism Society. I was worried, because my oldest son is verbal, he's ahead for his age actually. My youngest son has great expressive language, for the most part and he struggles with the receptive language, but he's verbal as well. So, I thought that because neither boy was so far down on the spectrum, that we'd not be welcomed or fit in anywhere.
So, I dipped a baby toe in. I began participating in their online support group for moms. Then I signed my oldest son up for soccer. A special needs soccer team, filled with every kind of special needs, not just Autism. Which has opened so many doors for the boys and for me.
I've always been the kind of mom who gives herself to everything she does and most especially her children. Which those of you out there who actually read this know, that is not the smartest thing to do really. It's like the flight attendant who tells the parents to put the mask over their own face before their child's. I never agreed with that before, but now I can see why and most importantly, I agree!
As I've learned more and volunteered more, put ourselves out there more and connected with other mothers close to us, I've realized how much we all have in common and it's amazingly freeing. I was speaking to one of the heads of the local Autism Society and I was suddenly saddened to hear her describe the reason many mothers or families didn't participate in many of the activities. It's the same reason I never participated prior to now...I felt that because my kids weren't verbal we'd not fit in, so to speak. She tells me that the moms of kids who are non-verbal feel the same, that because there are so many of us with verbal kids they feel like that don't fit either. It breaks my heart to hear this. I wish so many more of us would get out there, share our stories and whether or not we're from verbal or non-verbal families, realize that in the grand scheme of things, we're all one big family! We all need to stand up together and educate, push for better legislation, better insurance coverage, better IEPs. We need to stand up and ROAR! Not be sitting on our own side of the respective fences and be afraid to put ourselves out there. We all know the behaviors, we all know that no child is the same and it's truly sad that we're not willing to come forward more and be apart of something special. If you know someone who is afraid to come to a local autism event because either they're child(ren), are verbal or because they're non verbal, please encourage them to just get up and out and participate! I can't tell you how essential our mental health is as the caregivers to our kiddos. Please take a minute and support yourself, or if you are the caregiver reading this, please stop and do something for yourself today. Most importantly, connect with other people in your local community, you need that support. Lets all roar together!
As I've learned more and volunteered more, put ourselves out there more and connected with other mothers close to us, I've realized how much we all have in common and it's amazingly freeing. I was speaking to one of the heads of the local Autism Society and I was suddenly saddened to hear her describe the reason many mothers or families didn't participate in many of the activities. It's the same reason I never participated prior to now...I felt that because my kids weren't verbal we'd not fit in, so to speak. She tells me that the moms of kids who are non-verbal feel the same, that because there are so many of us with verbal kids they feel like that don't fit either. It breaks my heart to hear this. I wish so many more of us would get out there, share our stories and whether or not we're from verbal or non-verbal families, realize that in the grand scheme of things, we're all one big family! We all need to stand up together and educate, push for better legislation, better insurance coverage, better IEPs. We need to stand up and ROAR! Not be sitting on our own side of the respective fences and be afraid to put ourselves out there. We all know the behaviors, we all know that no child is the same and it's truly sad that we're not willing to come forward more and be apart of something special. If you know someone who is afraid to come to a local autism event because either they're child(ren), are verbal or because they're non verbal, please encourage them to just get up and out and participate! I can't tell you how essential our mental health is as the caregivers to our kiddos. Please take a minute and support yourself, or if you are the caregiver reading this, please stop and do something for yourself today. Most importantly, connect with other people in your local community, you need that support. Lets all roar together!
