So, my husband got his new hearing aids last week and while I know that the one will not help him entirely to hear, I've found myself shocked at how well these new ones work for him!
He still asks me "what" a lot of the time but, he can actually hear me!! The first time in 9 years and it is bizarre. I've found that over the years whenever we would get into a disagreement, I would mumble under my breath with my head turned and felt quite comfortable knowing that he could not hear me. He still can't hear me exactly but, he can hear that I've said something...whoops! :)
I've found that since our oldest son has gotten aids that I have become painfully aware of how much I made them both live in the hearing world. Making no accommodations or being forgiving when their hearing didn't jive with how I perceived the world. All I saw was my burden of having to answer the "What" all the time or having to go to every conversation that my husband would have, every doctor's appointment, etc just to retell the whole conversations all over again. I always had to be within arms reach of the phone as no one else ever heard it ring. I suppose I could go on and on with "burdens" but, as I said, I've become painfully aware of all that they've had to endure from the d/hoh end.
They both couldn't go anywhere without me because neither one of them could hear people. Neither one of them wanting to ask someone more than once what they said. Not to mention that people looking away as they spoke made it much harder for them. So, they both became reliant upon me to relay communications, even between each other.
My voice especially happens to fall within a range that is hard for them to hear as well. So, my ever growing frustration with having to repeat things, always have to be around one or both of them, having to rely on someone else to do phone calls, drive thru window orders, etc with a voice that neither of them could hear very well...I can't imagine the frustration.
I've taken my time now to lower the tone of my voice and raise the sound of it, to face them when speaking and make sure that my stepson does as well. I still turn down the TV now when they are speaking on the phone, out of habit and courtesy. I still am there for every conversation, meeting etc but, the need for me, is less. It is a nice feeling!
While I am glad that they are hearing better, though I often wonder about DW's as he still asks "what" a lot, I have come to realize what a hearing world often asks of it's d/hoh members. So, instead of making my husband and oldest son live in my world, I am endeavoring to live in theirs. It is a novel idea to say the least and with DW and his TS+ it is still not easy but, I am giving it a hearty go!
*Though when your son turns to you and says, "if you don't start being nice, I'm going to shut my ears off", it may not be a good sign! :)*
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